Thursday, September 15, 2016

physical therapy + more

I’ve been asked many, many, many times in the last few months if Lilli is crawling/why is Lilli not crawling/is Lilli close to crawling/is Lilli walking/why isn’t Lilli walking… you get my point.

I’ve also been asked many, many, many times about Lilli’s physical therapy/if everything is okay/why do we need it/etc.

I’m going to try and write everything in this blog post and answer all the questions here for those of you who do want to know.

No, Lilli is not crawling yet. No, Lilli is not walking yet. Yes, Lilli is behind in her physical milestones.

Yes, we’ve been evaluated by a physical therapist as per recommendation by her pediatrician when she was 9 months old. The process is extremely long (we’ve been in the process for over 2 months) and Lilli still doesn’t start therapy for another 2-4 weeks.

She does have a developmental delay. This delay is not cognitive; it is a physical delay only. In her tests, she exceeded in her cognitive skills. She is extremely bright, and the tests showed that. The tests did; however, confirm that Lilli’s core is extremely weak, more than likely stemming from her early and hard birth, as well as her health problems in her early months. This is why Lilli was accepted into the program, and they will be working on her core to enable her to crawl, stand, walk, etc.

And now down to the dirty stuff.

I’ve had some comments made to me that it’s my fault that she’s not mobile, and I’ve also had the comments made to me that it’s not right for her to be in physical therapy/I just need to wait until she does it on her own.

As for the comments that it’s my fault - no, it’s not. If you know me at all, you know that I have an extremely hard time not blaming myself for everything, so I mean it when I say that it's not my fault. Our pediatrician and the state confirmed that. Lilli was very tiny when she was born, she had a rough birth, and due to the severe reflux she had until 8 months, tummy time was very hard for her since she threw up entire meals every time she was on her belly. I have done everything our pediatrician recommended, and while Lilli has made some small improvements physically, it has not amounted to the help she will get from a professional in the coming weeks.

As for the comments that it’s not right/I need to wait for her to be ready - she IS ready. In the last few months, I can’t tell you how upset she gets when she wants a toy on the other side of the room, and struggles to move and cries when her body won’t let her do it. It's heartbreaking. I’m with her 24/7, and I can see how hard it is for her not being able to move. She get’s so upset watching everything going on around her, and not being able to participate unless Kyle or I are holding her. She is a very curious little girl and wants to explore and become more independent. She is more than ready; she just needs a little help. And her mama and daddy are ready to let her become more independent, too.

And that’s okay. I’m her mother and I know what’s best for her, and in this case, this is what’s best for her. 

I know sometimes people say things that they don’t realize are harmful. That’s okay. But, just think about things you say to a mama before you say them, especially when it’s about her baby. She lives the life you are criticizing, and goes through struggles you don’t even know about. Be kind. It’s the best thing you can be.


  1. There are very few moms I cherish and hold dear to my heart and you are at the top of that list. You are such a wonderful, inspiring, loving mother who has gone above and beyond for her baby and for her family.

    The nay-sayers hold no truths or bearing to say otherwise. Those who know and love you, have watched you grow as a mother, as a woman, wife and individual - KNOW you are the perfect parent for Lilli. I will be keeping your family in my prayers for strength, perseverance and happiness throughout this next journey! Lilli is going to do GREAT!

    Love, Alexander and Sasha

    1. You are simply the sweetest woman I have ever met Sasha. Thank you so much. Please know that your words mean to much to me! <3

  2. Praying for you sweet mama! You know her better than anyone and you know what's right for her! Love following your blog and keeping up with that cute little girl! Happy weekend, friend!

  3. Oh Brandi, I hate that you've been receiving rude comments from people. I just don't understand why so many people feel the need to put in their two cents when they don't have any business doing it... especially if their two cents is also hurtful. Just let the rude comments roll off your back and hold on to the good ones, girl! Those people may think they know you and your situation but they don't. They are not with you every day. I'm sure that Lilli will get there in her own time, and I think it's great that you're doing everything you can to help her get there. That's exactly what I would do if I was in your shoes. Have a great weekend, momma!

    1. I very much agree with you. Thank you so much Lindsay!

  4. I can't believe someone would say that to you. That's so beyond rude.
    You're doing a great job, mama! You're doing what needs to be done for the health and well-being of your baby, and that's the important thing <3

  5. You are sweet Lili's momma and you know what is best for her and her development. I don't know why other moms feel the need to troll the Internet and put there nose where it just doesn't belong. They should know how hard being a parent can be... Can't we all just stick together and support one another?!?!

    You are doing an amazing job. Anyone can see that by looking at how happy your sweet little girl is. Don't let the haters get you down girl!