Wednesday, December 2, 2015

five reasons why I got married at a young age

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There is definitely a new "normal" in today's society about how young is too young to get married. When I got engaged at 19 and married at 20, I heard just as many negative comments as I heard positive.

“Are you pregnant?”
“You have your whole life to get married.” 
“Are you sure he’s the one?” 
“You’re too young to know what love is.”

So, if you asked me why I got married so young, here are some responses you might hear:

→ We felt led by the Lord to do so. We prayed about our impending marriage before we got married. Yes, we were young. But that doesn't mean our prayers were any less powerful. Prayer knows no age.

→ Even though we were only in our early 20’s, that didn’t mean we didn’t know what love was and that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. What is your definition of "love"? To me, love is putting someone else's needs and wants before your own every day while choosing to love them even when they leave their socks on the floor every single day. I'm pretty sure one is able to "love" just as well at 20 as they are at any other age.

→ We found our “soul mate” early in life and there’s no shame in that. Kyle and I are both firm believers that while love is an emotion, it's a choice, too. We choose to love each other every day from the beginning of our time together and that prepared us to be each other's "soul mate". 

→ Despite what everyone said, we knew what we were doing to the best of our ability. We didn’t “jump” into anything and we prepared ourselves as best we could to be a married couple. Unless you've been married before (we have not, as far as I know), you can't be fully prepared or comprehend what marriage is going to be like. No matter what age you get married, you can't "prepare" for it, other than by praying for each other/your marriage and putting Christ at the forefront of your marriage. 

→ Marriage still has the same definition at 20 as it does at 50. Do you ask a couple in their 50's why they got married later in life? (If you do, you should really find a new question to ask about people's marriage, such as: How are you and your husband so awesome? Only slightly kidding.) The maturity level of an individual is a lot more than just a birthdate. Some people are ready when they are 20, some aren't ready until they're 50 - and that's perfectly okay.

Getting married young isn’t for everyone and we’ve endured hardships, just the same as everyone who has gotten married. But since the moment we got married (even at a young age), we've put Christ first and each other second. We've loved each other despite our faults and failures and we've grown together as one. That's what a marriage is all about, even one that started at a young age. 

It’s not your age that defines your marriage, it’s the effort that you put into it.

{So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. -Matthew 19:6}

If you're wanting some extra resources for your marriage, I highly recommend The 5 Love Languages, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband / 100 Ways to Love Your Wife, and Two as One.