Sunday, November 22, 2015

walk by FAITH | not by sight

It was on my heart to write about one of my favorite Bible verses:

{“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” -2 Corinthians 5:7}

Since having Little Baby L, I have prayed on this verse many, many times. L was born 5 weeks prematurely, and even though 5 weeks doesn’t seem like much, it definitely is when it comes to babies. L has had so many health problems since she has been born, many of them stemming from her prematurity.
As I sat and watched her in pain, sick, in incubators, and getting poked and prodded, my heart broke into a million pieces. For L’s first month here, she spent more time in the hospital than she did in our home. Looking at things from my sight, I felt broken, sad, and guilty. 

One day I was driving home from the hospital to grab a quick shower while K stayed with L at the hospital. I turned on my favorite Christian radio station, even though my mind was elsewhere, deep in thought about L. I started to pray, praying that Jesus would heal my daughter, while giving her the strength to get through all these painful issues, and to give K and I the ability to help her in every way that we could.
As I ended my prayers, I turned up the radio to distance my mind from my thoughts. Just as I did, the song “No Longer Slaves” by Jonathan David and Melissa Helser came on. As I listened to the lyrics, I could feel God speaking to me from them.

“I am no longer a slave to fear; I am a child of God.”
Why was I fearing when God when holding His children in His hands? He was holding all three of us, safe in His comforting arms.

“From my Mother’s womb, You have chosen me.”
God chose us to be L’s parents. He blessed us with her because He trusted us to be her parents. Why would I question His reasons for everything going on?

“You split the sea so I could walk right through it; all my fears were drowned in perfect love.”
He loves us SO much that He takes every fear, worry, and hurt for His own and replaces it with His love, comfort, and hope. 

I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders as I cried and listened. It was going to be okay because He was with us. He would heal her in His time, and He would give us His strength until that time came.

That is not the last time I let fear into my heart. But, when I feel fear coming, I remind myself that faith is stronger. I must walk in faith, day by day, to save my heart from fear and to give all my worries to Him because there is no point in worrying when He is in control of everything. I must, and we must, walk by faith, not by sight.

xoxo, Brandi

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